Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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