So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
