You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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