Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
