I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
nutella sex= disaster
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize