how can u be prego again
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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