problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
