dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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