You're a womanizer and a bitch.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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