fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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