I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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