I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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