Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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