Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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