Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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