Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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