She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
