this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
