You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
