did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
