Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
