Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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