I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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