She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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