I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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