YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
