so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i just wanna soil my oats bro
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
