what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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