Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just want nice things and good sex
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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