I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
