im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
