Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
