weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
