new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
