Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
