remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
