Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize