Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
