I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
