Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
