Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
