next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We had to coat check the pizza.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
