sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
