he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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