just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
