Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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