How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
