i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
How does it feel to date your dad?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize