I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize