even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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