Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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