My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
