How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
