the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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