So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
