Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I have aggressive nipples.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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