you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
