i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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