im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
