Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
