I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
